Saturday, January 12, 2013

Loss, Love and Small Steps

It has been too long since I have posted.  This has not been for lack of a wonderful Christmas time, or being surrounded by a wonderful family or strong purposeful steps toward making my game a reality.  I felt overwhelmed by the Newtown, Connecticut shooting and then by the number of parties, preparations and celebrations during the weeks leading to Christmas.

Then, we went to Florida to visit both my parents and then my father-in-law.  Both visits were lovely and we returned to our busy lives.  Then, I received a phone call from my brother telling me that my father had a cerebral hemorrhage and was not expected to live.  My husband got me onto a flight and I returned to Florida to support my mother, and say a final goodbye to my father.

The past week has been filled with a daily list of things that needed to be done in preparation for my mother to return home.  It was a brief return to my family of origin, and a time to just being and doing.  And, it has put me in the place of looking at my life with a different eye.

My father's death is a blunt statement about the strength and fragility of life.  I will be forever changed, as I should be.  It also emphasizes that getting too caught up in thinking some things are important or too difficult to attempt is not very wise.  This past week has confirmed the strength of my family, the responsible manner in which my parents' care for one another exists and the fact that no matter how different we are as people we still have the capability within ourselves to step outside of the differences and do what needs to be done.

The small steps I have taken so far have led to incredible places; some geographical and some otherwise.  My father, and my mother are good role models for taking those small steps.  The numbness that I feel at the moment will not keep me from moving ahead, or aside, or under.  I am humbled and grateful to have the people in my life that are so precious to me.  And, I think they are pretty lucky to have me, too.

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