Going to College is Complicated

I was reading today how many US students are not ready to succeed in college, because they have not taken and excelled at the core subjects and because they have not scored high enough on tests like the ACT.  Then I read an article entitled Are American Students Grossly Unprepared for College? "where Award-winning Prinicipal Carol Burris of South Side High School in New York  looks at this issue" and dissects some statements made by Education Secretary Arne Duncan.  I also read Kid, I'm Sorry You are Just Not College Material (by Michael Petrilli, in Slate).

It is kind of like the alcohol use and sex perspectives I used to talk with teenaged clients about at The Door, where I designed and ran MY VOICE (an HIV prevention program for young women).  "Everyone my age has tried it," was what many kids would say.  But, the statistics and real life did not back them up.

Yesterday I went to a training at Partnership for After School Education (PASE) entitled Transitioning to College:  Supporting Social and Emotional Readiness.  I was sitting with administrators and counselors that served kids from homes with lower incomes, who may be from families who came to the United States from other countries, kids who had to make a conscience choice to attend a college because they would need grants and loans to pay for the experience.  The message was that the college application process was daunting, but actually going to college could be like visiting a foreign country necessitating learning about how a college works and even learning vocabulary (definition of bursar anyone?)  The training participants were full of recollections of when they went to college, and the instructor encouraged us to draw on those memories as a bridge to working with clients.  The goal was to take back tools that could be used to help clients better negotiate the process.

MY TAKE AWAY was two-fold:  although daunting, going to college IS a smart idea for so many reasons, if it is a good fit  AND  if everyone keeps reading and hearing that students are not going to succeed in college then maybe they will believe it and make it come true.

Finding a good fit is not easy.  It requires a teenager or anyone else who is considering going to college to examine themselves and be honest.  My husband says he always wanted to be a professional basketball player, but unfortunately he isn't tall enough.  I say that there are lots of ways to fulfill that passion that do not require playing professional basketball.  The hard question is whether any of those ways is a good enough fit to provide the other things he desires.  So, if someone wants to go to college the first question is WHY?  If that question has a solid answer the HOW? is not as intimidating.  CAN WE AGREE THAT SOME STUDENTS ARE NOT PREPARED WELL ENOUGH TO GO TO COLLEGE, BUT IF THEY REALLY WANT TO GO THEY HAVE TO FIND OUT HOW TO MAKE IT HAPPEN?

Hanging out with people who continually want to say how bad things are gets to be tedious.  Pointing out that a system doesn't work and needs to be fixed is very powerful.  When the people who continually want to say how bad things are also point out that the education system needs to be fixed it becomes complicated for everyone!  CAN WE AGREE THAT THE AMERICAN EDUCATION SYSTEM DOES NOT WORK AS WELL, ESPECIALLY FOR SOME STUDENTS, AS IT COULD?   But, if a student really wants to go to college for good reasons, then the preparation system is one piece of information but not the entire pie.

I would like to tell you that in the past year I have met students, who are now in college, who will have lots of debt, or no debt, who were straight A students or not, some were bullied in high school, some left high school confused, others were relieved, and the list goes on.  One student entered college thinking there were only two types of lawyers, and now works with a state legislature.  She has to have a job to pay for costs, but she got promoted.  Another student applied to Harvard on a whim, and is now there.  Another student is deaf and an excellent student who wanted to major in Math and Missionary.  Another began in the summer and has made friends, gone to concerts, taken a variety of classes, does crew and has made the college his experience.  Finally, I met a young woman who despite being a great student who is going to a great college, found a passion that may lead her on a journey that is unexpected.  I also know students who left that role and are succeeding in the world of work, where college is not part of the fit.

I'm just saying, going to college is complicated.

It really helps to be prepared, just like being prepared to visit a new country.  And, some of us are coming from systems that do not prepare us as well as they should.

I am glad I went to the training yesterday.  I am going to apply to do a training with my games.  I think it would have been more amusing to play games to emphasize skills that are needed to go to college.  You remember the last time you lost playing Monopoly, right?


BONUS HARLAN COHEN VIDEO!!

Extraordinary ordinary Jacques Pepin

Okay, I am sick.  That is not good.  It is preventing me from spinning ahead.  And, then, there is the relentless sound from the workmen who are drilling into the exterior of my building.  They have gone out for lunch for a bit and so there is a blissful silence.  My nose is running, I feel like my head is in a bushel basket and I am sneezing.  Oh well, enough about that...

Last night I had the opportunity to go to the French House at Columbia U and hear a conversation with Jacques Pepin, who is one of my favorite people in the world.  I read his autobiography, The Apprentice, a year ago and found him to be just as gracious and upbeat in person as he is as a writer.  He is the embodiment of "a good fit" because he found his passion early on during his childhood, and just dove in with that passion as his rudder.  His life has certainly not been a bed of roses but it has been quite remarkable.  The program has been on my mind all night and throughout the day, today.  I find today, for myself, there is too much going on and no one passion or purpose leading me through the day.  AND THAT FEELS BAD...

He spoke about the different paths a chef could take--technician, artist, food lover, etc., and how each of those things were fine but it was the "love" that made it extraordinary.  That is why it is important to know why one is doing something.  It is simple, but it is also very, very powerful.

I think of extraordinary people, and in very few cases were or are they people with skills or talents that I cannot say I have.  The difference really is the "why".  Making money can be one goal because money is a tool that affords choices, and our culture greatly values money.  Being considered smart with the degree or grades to back that up is also highly valued.  However, I have also known people who do something because they enjoy it or are good at it, and they seem satisfied and happy.  They are not extraordinary, but what they put out there is.

So, back to my disorganized, messy table and life.  WHY HAVE I CREATED THESE GAMES AND WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH THEM?  The first question is not tough to answer.  I create.  I spent a number of years keeping others' creations organized or maintained, but I have no desire to do that anymore.  Home schooling and having children taught me that creating, for me, if the right road. I like helping others come up with answers, choices and options.  Isn't that all about creating?

But,  WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH THEM?  Now, there is a question.  The answer to this question means wading out into the world, and trying to make these creations work.  It means dealing with other people's goals and priorities.  I now know why some people choose to be authors, all holed up in their work place with their blank pages, and selves to wrestle with.  I guess this is the question I am going to wrestle with for a while.

I truly believe that going to college is a good choice for some people; it was a great choice for me.  Going to college was much more than the academics--it was stepping onto an entirely different plain.  I learned to think and experience and create, and became a more evolved person.  Would that have gone better if I had had a leg up on some of the situations I faced?  Yes.  Would that have changed my journey?  I do not know--none of us know.  But, having a chance to try out things before one has to do them does free up energy and skill that one can use elsewhere.

So, I am a game designer in search of players for the moment.  And, I think what I do will grow into even more interesting places.

I wonder if Jacques Pepin thought about what would happen when he was 13 and starting on his journey, or if he just jumped in headlong and searched daily for the love that has made his ordinary life extraordinary?

How many students are carefully considering the idea of going to college?

Hello again,

I have spent the past week on a college road trip with my teenaged daughter.

It was one of the best trips I have ever taken.  I learned how much my daughter has grown up, and how carefully she is considering the idea of going to college.





She kept notes on each of the colleges we visited, asked questions during the tours, shared her opinions of each visit with me and tried to envision herself in each college setting.  I gained an appreciation for how difficult it is to envision oneself in such a familiar but totally different experience that college can be.


The week reconfirmed for me how important it is for high school students and even first year college students to practice those new experiences.  My games address distraction, roommates and the new scenarios that college students face.  Those things are just the beginning to taking the important steps (small steps go places) toward living apart from ones family or home.

DISTRACTION ACTION
ENTER THE CAVE
RISK IT

Wouldn't it be nice if students would play DISTRACTION ACTION, identify what distracts them, process those distractions and then use what they have learned to deal with the distractions when they come up?  Wow!

Wouldn't it be nice if students had the chance to put a room together for themselves, ENTER THE CAVE,  and then have to sit down and talk about what is important to them with their future roommate?  Wow!

Wouldn't it be nice to have a leg up on the types of scenarios one might find in the first year of college, to RISK IT?  Wow!

....how carefully she is considering the idea of going to college.

How many students are also carefully considering the idea of going to college?

I have just finished listening to Harlan Cohen's Naked Roommate Mini Course about how to pick the perfect college.  If you haven't registered on his www.nakedroommate.com site and someone in your family is involved in the college search you should (and I do not use "should" very often).  His presentation, knowledge and experience is priceless and right-on.  But, it leads me back to the same question:  How many students are CAREFULLY considering the idea of going to college?  I think I have to come up with an easier way for those of you who have been reading my blog to communicate with me.  But, in the meantime go to the bottom of this post and check off a reaction!

NEW QUESTION:

How do students who have not grown up in American culture deal successfully with attending American colleges?

There is no them…only us

This is important.  Listen and imprint it on whatever you are setting out to do.  You have got to take the steps.  Remember….Small Steps Go Places.

Going back to the core

I am sitting in Ann Arbor smiling as I hear the Bell Tower toll.

 I LOVE this place.  I lived here for ten years when I was younger and much of who I am was developed here.  It is good to return to that core place and measure what has happened.

The past few days have been a trip like that.  And, I can feel that I took a jump of sorts.
  I guess there has to be a lot of working and weeding,
 and thinking before taking a leap.

I am so excited that I decided to begin working with Alisa, who is now my career coach.  Alisa brings a huge bolt of energy to what I have been working on for so long.  I feel that finally someone is taking me seriously.  I do not know if I will be financially successful.  I hope I am.  But, when I tell people about my games it come from someplace deep inside.  And, I realize that not everyone is a good fit or will appreciate what I am doing, so I shouldn't try to convince them of my worth or the worth of my work.  There is a great deal of freedom in that.

Different people approach tackling problems or learning in different ways --- based on who they are.
(Da, isn't this how I think?)  So, I approach things in my way.  Hence, my games are my take on what a person needs to know before making a decision about college.  And, I focus on "young" people because this is the group I have worked with the most, so far.

Maybe I have found a name for the game I brought with me:  RISK IT.  That name speaks volumes.  And, I am so excited that my game spinners arrived and it was easy to come up with a paradigm.  Aha! Paradigm…now there is a word.

RISK IT asks player to use the spinner to find two parameters which leads to a scenario which leads to deciding how much of a risk to take.

Examples of scenarios are:  Your roommate gets up for class earlier than you and always wakes you up because he/she makes noise while getting ready to go to class.  So much for having a 10am class!

Your favorite class and major interest has always been Literature.  Now you are in your first college English class, which you love.  You have worked hard on your first paper and think you turned in a pretty good product.  Today you got your paper back.  There was a big D on the top.  You really worked hard and do not understand what went so terribly wrong!

These are real scenarios compliments of a fabulous college student named Lucy.  Real to me means relevant.

Would you, as a player, risk asking your roommate to get dressed in the bathroom, or would you buy yourself earplugs,

or just tough it out?  Would you even mention the situation?

Would you, as a player, just accept that D and seek solace in complaining about how tough the professor is, or would you take the paper and what is left of your ego and go have a long conversation about it with the prof and possibly a tutor?

So, now I am going to go back outside, to the 10 degree weather and attempt to get to lunch with two wonderful women without my smile freezing.  I am enjoying going back to my core today.

I would highly recommend it!


A Harlan added BONUS!

You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step.

It is the new year and I have been struggling to come up with the "right" post.  Ha, ha, ha…there is no right post.

I have hired a career coach. Wow, that was an amazing move.  It means I have taken myself seriously, and invested in what I am doing. I have researched and invented but my game has not flown off the table.  Now, after a couple of months with Alisa, I have four games which may join into one experience.  I am moving toward a focus group for each and asking myself if I need full prototypes or partial prototypes to offer to teenagers in the focus groups.  I want to know what works and I want to see what's on the other side.  I am taking STEPS.  I just reposted something a friend, R-J Houston quoted from Dr. King:

 "You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step." - Martin Luther King

I truly believe that education is powerful

if the student is fully engaged in the experience.

And, the games put the power of observation and possibility into the hands of the players.  And, I truly believe that to make a successful learning plan one must take a look at who they are as a person and choose accordingly.  More skills can be mastered and interests investigated, but you come with a package and why not assess it, appreciate it and use it to take that first step?very evident that the "product" we were offering wouldn't work for students who couldn't or wouldn't play by the rules of the co-op.  That didn't mean they were bad students or dumb or any of the other labels that get fixed to students.  It meant that the product we were offering came with instructions that needed to be followed to use our way of doing things.  So, our way learning did not work for everyone.  And, so it is with making decisions about going to college.  Some students don't need to assess who they are as people, or what they are drawn to.  Some students already have a picture in their minds of where they want to go and why.  However, some students may find the description they have for their search can be enlarged or changed by being honest with themselves about who they are and what they are willing to be capable of.

It is difficult to accept that one (being me) does not have an answer for everyone.  Ouch!!

It is satisfying to know that one (being me) does have something that is valuable to some people.  Yeaa!

Is Comfort Overrated?

I was sitting in Telluride, Colorado looking out the window at the unbelievable mountains capped in snow and thanking God that this place exists.

We are on the other end of the Christmas holiday, which was full and almost overwhelming with both work and blessings.  My life exists in fits and starts and is never plunking down the road at a comfortable pace.  Maybe "comfortable" is overrated.

The New Year brings a time of disillusionment.  The holidays just happened, with all of the running around, celebrating, reconnecting and being filled with wonder.  The holidays are over.  Now, the cold, stark winter looms before me (and us).  Well, that is almost poetic but there is still a cold, stark winter looming out there.  Or, maybe it is a clean slate to start filling…

I am looking at all of those chances that I don't want to regret not taking and wondering where to begin.

Backtracking to the time my family and I just spent in Telluride, I realize I could have stated that I needed to take a rest from skiing and just hung out in the condo or the spa.  But, that wouldn't be any fun.  So, instead, I met an amazing man who taught me so much about skiing (it is better if you understand the physics of skiing) and approaches to life (I am not ready to do that YET…)

Transitioning from the big city to Telluride and back is not for the faint-hearted.

Now that I am back I know that it is true if I understand the steps behind a situation and that distilling things down to what can get done today and what has to wait until tomorrow makes it all doable.

Some things are just unpleasant but that doesn't mean they are incapacitating, right?