I did Deepak and Oprah's Meditation today, as I have been for the past two weeks, which is a miracle in and of itself. Today's meditation was about gratitude, which is amazing because I missed some days and today's choice was random. The thought was "being grateful opens up the universe's bounty." I have always felt grateful because that is the right thing to do, and it keeps me grounded. I have never thought that gratitude opens up how the universe works.
However, if I transform my attitude into one of gratitude it does reframe my life. Deepak's interpretation almost seemed selfish. Maybe employing a bit more self is actually a healthy and worthwhile thing to do. Others can do their own work in a lot of areas, and I don't need to step in. I can have emotions but don't need to trounce them onto others. I can choose to do things which truly bring me joy, not just things that need to be done.
So, I am going to put my attitude of gratitude to work today -- timely, right? It is America's Thanksgiving. Back when it all began it wasn't about the Macy's parade and when to start Black Friday. It was about how survival was good, and how the Native Americans shared skills they knew were important with a bunch of newbies.
I have been very busy since my last post. It feels overwhelming to think about catching up but not overwhelming to pick some highlights. Maybe that makes sense for some of you, too. I think I live in fear of not doing enough and feeling that taking some small steps
will not lead far enough only to find that I am unraveling a big skein of life, and if I don't take those initial first small steps the skein is going to sit there untouched, getting dusty from no use or new observation. And, when the unraveling begins….WHOA!
There are three words that thread their way through my days
RISK CHOICE CONTROL
If you think about it, these words can be appliedto just about any situation, and even in this order.
I went to a Guidance Counselor Workshop offered by the College Board (think SAT) several weeks ago. I wanted to increase my credibility when speaking to students, parents or guidance counselors about my game. It was a RISK to call and ask to come. It was a CHOICE to follow through and go, and once I arrived to choose a seat, talk about myself and what I am doing, and even raise my hand to offer my thoughts. I was in CONTROL of how long I stayed, and the fact that I tried to get into the conference that was taking place during the rest of the week.
Go back to my earlier posts and notice the reference to Life in Motion Yoga (The Power To Do Something Meaningful, 9/17/13). I took the RISK of making a commitment to going to yoga. That means I go whether feeling wonderful or not and chance falling on my face while trying to balance on one foot. It is my CHOICE because I can not go at any time because there are innumerable things to do in the place of practicing yoga and so each time I choose to go. I am in CONTROL because I have chosen not to go a couple of times because more important things came up but then I went again despite having to face the resistance I had built up. And, ultimately, it helps me because when things happen my feelings of stress and annoyance are much lower.
Go to my earlier post about learning being hard and that will help you prepare to appreciate what a high school student and high school parent faces when the question of IS COLLEGE A GOOD FIT FOR ME? comes up. Going to high school was a risk but leaving high school for the next leg of the journey is fraught with RISKS! I don't mean the kind of health and death-defying risks I helped adolescents deal with when I designed and ran an HIV Prevention group. RISK, like Stress, gets a bad name if not used correctly and carefully.
According to Merriam-Webster, RISK is defined as something bad happening or someone being in a harmful situation. RISK also means taking a chance which involves discomfort and imperfection. No pain, no gain--right? But, I hope we can minimize the pain and maximize the gain by being smart with where the risks get taken. More about that later…
Today, I am going to exercise RISK, CHOICE, and CONTROL with the belief that we all have THE POWER TO DO SOMETHING MEANINGFUL. I am going to risk showing you my Power Point mockup of a game focusing on DISTRACTIONS. It is my CHOICE, even though it is not perfect and will probably bring about questions. I am in CONTROL because I have created it, and maybe when it is done it will become meaningful.
I am utilizing the verbs FOCUS and ORGANIZE these days as I juggle the growing number of projects I am happily spending time on. It is essential to know why I am doing this, and who I am hoping to focus on, otherwise I am going to grow old reading really compelling articles but never getting out of the living room.
The thought attached to this morning's meditation:
As is my desire, so is my intention
As is my intention, so is my will,
As is my will, so is my deed,
As is my deed, so is my destiny. (Deepak Chopra)
I really believe that education:
must be experiential
must make sense to the student
There are a number of other subplots to this, but the bottom line is that when a student is involved (experiential) and knows why it is important to learn something (makes sense) then education becomes alive.
This is about students being involved in the college search and application process. And, perhaps even more importantly, students knowing how to enter college being about to make it THEIR PLACE.
"The "Pathways to Prosperity" study by the Harvard Graduate School of Education in 2011 shows that just 56 percent
of college students complete four-year degrees within six years. Only 29 percent of those who start two-year degrees finish them within three years." (Why College Students Stop Short of a Degree by Lou Carlozo, 3/27/2012, www.reuters.com)
According to this study cost of college is a large factor, but another factor is not being prepared. I am betting that really understanding what it means to be prepared would help make a wise choice.
I am currently reading "Making College Worth It: A Review of the Returns to Higher Education" by Philip Oreopoulos and Uros Petronijevic from the University of Toronto. I found this article from the College Board Forum conference which took place in New York City a couple of weeks ago.
According to these two guys, "prospective students must give careful consideration to selecting the institution itself, the major to follow, and the eventual occupation to pursue." (41) That is just the beginning. I will add more in future posts as I work my way through their article.
How do we PREPARE? Hhhmmmm….learn how something works, how it's constructed, who uses it or goes there, if we have the skills and talents to do the thing, if we even want to do it in the first place.
For me, the operative idea here is being part, if not all, of the preparation.
Okay, enough of reading compelling articles about things I think we all have some idea about
(IT COSTS A LOT TO GO TO COLLEGE, STUDENTS SHOULD HAVE AN IDEA OF WHY THEY ARE DOING THIS)
Switch back to the dinner table, or the living room now.
You are sitting there with your student/child. If you ask, "what do you really spend most of your time doing?" what would he or she say (truthfully)? Is it all about tests and homework? Is that realistic when you are an adult?
If you ask, "if you could do any job for one day, what would it be?"
Do they get distracted? Do you or their instructors tell them that is a bad idea and they shouldn't do that?
Do they have their own room? Have they ever been away from home without you?
Do they know what the overall cost of going to the college of their choice is, for a year? Do they know how much their loan payment will be at the end of college, each month?
This is what I am working on…students working on learning about things before the wonderful, parental conveyer belt of taking care of things stops. FOCUS: Students MY HOPE: It will be fun and compelling.
Yesterday I ran into a woman who was walking her dog. She has a site called MsManhattan.net and she told me I needed to claim Small Steps Go Places on social media. She has a lovely site, which you should go see! And, now, I have a new Twitter called Small Steps Go.
I also have a rough draft for my game context. It is time to post here again, which I am now going to work on, but I wanted to give you a Tweet update...
Okay, first look at colleges has been completed. Five different types of campuses and programs, all in the same geographical area. It was a really helpful first look. My daughter did a great job of observing during each visit. One college had a program that she thought may fit well but not very nice facilities. Another had good facilities but was all girls. Another had a good program and nice facilities, and is a good focus to move toward. The fourth had good facilities and good programs but no programs of interest. Finally, one was an art program. And, tour guide and admissions presenters ranged from well spoken and knowledgable to low talkers with little agenda.
Let's go back to those steps...
What did she want to be when she was little?
How does she spend her free time?
Who does she look up to?
If she could do any job for one day, what would it be?
What type of experiences has she had that really felt exciting or interesting?
Is there something she finds herself returning to again and again?
Which classes does she find easy right now?
Which classes does she find more challenging, but she wants to do well in?
Which classes do not click?
I asked these questions, and received these answers, and you know what, THIS IS NOT A SIMPLE PROCESS. But, it is an important process and well worth the time and effort to follow through.
I take a step back, and use the meditation breathing I have been working on, and remind myself that this is not MY journey but one that I am trying to help with because I have been around a bit longer. And, I pull out one of my valuable, handy dandy worksheets (The Art of Mindfulness -- Living Your Life as if it Really Matters...thank you Thomas R. Plunkett) and read that
MINDFULNESS IS PAYING ATTENTION ON PURPOSE,
WE HAVE MORE POSSIBILITIES IN EACH MOMENT THAN WE REALIZE (Thich Nhat Hanh)
and my personal favorite LIFE IS SHORT SO WE MUST MOVE VERY SLOWLY (Thai Proverb)
Hey, it is all about the fit. I am working with one wonderful child right now, and another wonderful child is in the thick of his first year.
College is the right path, right? That is the next question on this journey...
I have been developing a lot of appreciation for people who are moving from one career or job to another. Shutting down an office or long-standing project and moving onto the next is not for the faint-hearted. And, it must be amazingly terrible if that came about because of a layoff or shutting down of a company. I am trying to go through home-school materials and figure out what can be used as I transition (morph?) to the next step.
Life happens in steps; steps of all kinds.
Some lead from one level to another, some lead in an ever moving circle,
but they are all steps.
And, sometimes the steps lead to a jumping off place where we try out what we have been learning on the steps.
So, after lots of steps and quite a bit of angst
I realize I really did accomplish some things with home-schooling our children, and teaching others' children, and organizing classes, and putting together two conferences (because I thought they should happen). Our children may have different thoughts and feelings about this adventure, and they should because they were right there the entire time.
But, how to translate this into transition?
I tried to set up a Meet Up session at the suggestion of a very good friend this week. It was going to be me speaking to interested parents about deciding if home-schooling is a good idea, and then how to set the ball in motion. No one signed up, which is fine. I am going to reschedule and try it again. Guess what?! These people have no idea of who I am, and no reason to pay $30 to come hear what I have to say. This is a wake up call as I transition from my small, vibrant group to the bigger world. HELLO!
Yesterday, I wrote a short article, for a neighborhood magazine,
about what is happening (in a limited way) in the education world, and what I am contributing (my game and blog). Will they think it is self-promotion? Who knows? It is my small step toward saying something to the larger world.
So, back to the steps toward helping teenagers preparing for college.
My focuses today are MAKING DECISIONS and WHAT IT MEANS TO FIND YOUR PLACE.
"Whenever someone makes a decision the brain is awash in feeling, driven by its inexplicable passions. Even when a person tried to be reasonable and restrained, these emotional impulses secretly influence judgement...The simple truth of the matter is that making good decisions requires us to use both side of the mind." (How We Decide by Johan Lehrer, Into, xvi)
Why do we think choosing a college should be based on SAT/ACT scores, grades and coached essays? I am heading out for a first look at colleges with our daughter. More steps and more will be revealed...
I have been working hard to make sense of the sections of my game. How can this be useful? Who can I use it with? But, this week outside of my self-absorbed steps life continues on, and has spit back some moments that grabbed my attention.
I went to a yoga class. I want to thank my husband for pointing out that I had been telling lots of people they should go to yoga, neglecting the fact that it has been some years since I actually had been to a class. Life in Motion YOGA
So, I arrived and was trying to become ready for the class when two women who both had connections to a certain university began a conversation about a high school student in this area who is allegedly a polyglot (he knows something of 22 languages.) I needed to go to this yoga class and was in my most critical place and asked "what good would this be"? I made no friends. However, at the end of the class I took the younger woman aside to apologize for my bad attitude and learned that she had decided to take a break from college after 1 1/2 years because she had worked intensely to get into the college and wasn't sure why she was there. One question I will ask students as they are deciding if college is a good plan is WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE?
Thank you Charles Schulz!!
This question is simple and we have all faced it, right? Ballerina, teacher, scuba diver, mailman, fireman, etc., etc.
But, she couldn't answer the question. She said she tried to go back there and found she couldn't. And, for her, college is what is supposed to happen because of where she is in her world.
I have been listening to people speak at the SCHOOLS FOR TOMORROW conference at nytimes.com. I feel elated that I listened to Sal Khan speak
and I've learned about his new Bank of America budget and finance lessons. I got to hear him talk about how important his website and technology is but it has to be connected to live teachers.
But, it was Anant Agarwal (President, edX) who really blew me away when he spoke about the problem of colleges looking at data about successful admissions and how really good colleges only accept limited percentages of applicants AND then trying to show that graduates are able to get really good jobs at top places. Mr. Agarwal spoke about the difference between getting bright students and not doing any damage, and really providing an actual learning or transformative experience.
What is happening in the educational process today, and does it lead to working in an area that each of us want to be? Benefits of a college education
HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW WHO CAN HARDLY WAIT TO LEAVE THEIR JOB AND DO WHAT THEY REALLY WANT TO DO?
Is it that difficult to develop the very important skills that we all need to have to be good, solid human beings who are successful?
Guess what? You can be the most intelligent person in the world, speak lots of languages, number crunch until the cows come home but
if you don't know how to be kind,
communicate in a way that invites people to want to hear what you say or join your thinking process, navigate,
help others grow in confidence then
can you count yourself as a success?
Recently I read an interview with Simon Anderson, CEO of Dreamhost (NYTimes, Adam Bryant). Mr. Anderson, in response to what questions he would ask an interviewee said, "Probably the first one would be, “Tell me about the first experience in your life when you realized that you had the power of change or the power to do something meaningful.”
I have been doing lots of reading these past several months. Where does the motivation come from for wanting to go to college and what is valued in the process of applying?
I found a list "top ten things colleges look for" which is pretty general. They include grades, scores, recommendations, extracurriculars, and of course the application.
Then, I found a list of questions that Suzanne Colligan, Director of College Counseling at Georgetown Prep suggests students ask themselves when thinking about college. They include: -What is something you've always wanted to try? -If you could do any job for a day, what would it be? -As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? -What are some things you feel you do well? -Who do you look up to?
WOW! Looking back at this post there are a number of thoughts. But, what is clear to me is that EDUCATION is more than fulfilling someone else's idea of success. I wonder what the answer would be if I visited several different classrooms, even just in my own city, and asked one or two students in each just these four questions. And, then looked at their grades and activities to see if there was any kind of connection?
Do I have the power to do something meaningful with it?
