We all matter

I apologize for the lack of posts since August, and before.  Such a complicated summer, with Mom's death, a health condition for Mr T our dog, and then the transition (if that is what I can call it) into the fall.  The unexpected and difficult loss of Mom continues to shape my days.  I am not devastated, but times when I would pick up the phone because I know she would have a view are gone.  I wonder, often, where her spirit is--although it is just over my shoulder at times.  I feel sad for me, and everyone else in her life, that we will no longer have her there to call, talk with, ask for help, celebrate with.

In September, I spent a week in Michigan, both in Ann Arbor and in Mom's house.  I was looking for shades of me in all of her belongings, as well as honoring the doll collection that she had.  We drove back a car full of stuff that will remind me of her, and our family, in my own home.  And, I will go again and find more.  Now, there are so many photos, things she used in her baking, Christmas decorations, other things that will live on through their use, and eventually her engagement and wedding ring to pass onto my own children.  Driving back into town was surreal because I left for good at 19.  The only reason I returned was to see my family; and now there is a situation to be finished.  She and Dad set it up, and just like honoring the doll collection, I honor the intention.

Among the stuff, I found shades of who I was then.  It shouldn't be surprising because she knew who I am now because she was always involved in my life.  There are loads of photos of her happily being a wife, mother, friend, contributor, grandmother, and great grandmother.  And, loads of photos of her being the explorer and communicator she was.  She straddled being a vibrant member of her small town community with being a citizen of the world, and that is powerful.  She taught me that everyone is a person, no matter what their title or background.  We all matter.  That is a lesson that has underlaid my life.

Since returning, much of my time is starting to be once again filled with my business and game.  Yesterday, I met with my bookkeeper for the first time.  In the next few weeks 1,000 copies of OPTION PLAY will arrive.  I will have a launch and will start talking about and playing OPTION PLAY, signing clients up for a RUBY SLIPPERS workshop.   The wonderful women who have been such a huge part of my journey have bee there for all of those steps.

www.smallstepsgoplaces.com is coming along, thanks to Susanne Schropp (Diva Design)!  Karen Raugust (Raugust Communications) has worked her magic on the wording of cards and communication materials.  Karen Matsu Greenberg (Hourglass Press) is guiding the production and arrival of those games.  Paige (Paige Media) has already made a video that is going to go live very soon so everyone can meet me, and hear about OPTION PLAY from awesome people who I have been blessed to know.  Alisa Cohn (Alisa Cohn & Assoc.) is keeping my journey on track, no matter the storms.

I will retire this blog in the very near future, as I move to blogging at www.smallstepsgoplaces.com.
My website is chugging along.  Soon, there will be a direct way to order.  In the meantime if you want to ask questions, leave a comment, or find out more information please send me a Tweet @smallstepsgo2 or an email at smallsteps@smallstepsgoplaces.com.

Life sends us in directions we do not anticipate.

Life sends us in directions we do not anticipate.  It seemed that I had just said good bye to my mother at the airport, after a great visit, when I got a call from my brother telling me he had found her, dead.  Unexpected, but completely Mom.  No big drama, in the middle of doing lots of things, engaged with what was going on in her world and the bigger world.  Numbing at best for those of us left behind.

I am unprepared for the amount of pain that hit my body.  I am not a young girl, or a child who lived next door.  The ring of my voice saying how important being independent is has, at times, had a hollow tone.  But, when it is all said and done, I could not have become who I am without my mother being who she is.  I don't think there will ever be a "was" because my mother is part of so many fabrics and life bloods.  My accomplishments have a foundation in her belief that she, and I, could do anything.  We might choose not to, but we can.

So, I helped with her memorial service -- which was awesome in words and the number of people.  I have returned to my place where I just finished looking over the boxes and cards that will become OPTION PLAY.  Susanne Schropp (Diva Design), Karen Matsu Greenberg, and Karen Raugust have all worked hard to help me make this step.  I honor myself by doing this, and in that I honor my mother.

Life sends us in directions we do not anticipate.  It seemed that I had just said good bye to my mother at the airport, after a great visit, when I got a call from my brother telling me he had found her, dead.  Unexpected, but completely Mom.  No big drama, in the middle of doing lots of things, engaged with what was going on in her world and the bigger world.  Numbing at best for those of us left behind.

I am unprepared for the amount of pain that hit my body.  I am not a young girl, or a child who lived next door.  The ring of my voice saying how important being independent is has, at times, had a hollow tone.  But, when it is all said and done, I could not have become who I am without my mother being who she is.  I don't think there will ever be a "was" because my mother is part of so many fabrics and life bloods.  My accomplishments have a foundation in her belief that she, and I, could do anything.  We might choose not to, but we can.

So, I helped with her memorial service -- which was awesome in words and the number of people.  I have returned to my place where I just finished looking over the boxes and cards that will become OPTION PLAY.  Susanne Schropp (Diva Design), Karen Matsu Greenberg, and Karen Raugust have all worked hard to help me make this

Small Steps really do Go Places

I can't believe it has been two months since my last blog post.  So much has happened!  Where do I begin?

Today, I spent the morning with Paige Wilhide who is the magic behind PaigeMedia.com.

"As you know, every business (no matter how small) needs video, but not every business actually DOES video and does it well.  So by taking this step to implement video into your online strategy, you are ten steps ahead..."

This morning, I was nervous, sure that this was a horrible idea, sure that nothing would work, that the men working with jack hammers on my building would choose the moment the camera rolled to start, that no one would show up...need I go on?  Paige, Eric, and Mary arrived exactly on time and began setting up.  Virginia, Lillian, Henri, Gabby, and Nick all arrived.  Emma and Chris were hugely supportive and did all the right things.  The workers told me they knew I needed the jackhammers to be quiet for my project.  Paige guided us all through the many steps of making a video promoting OPTION PLAY.  The many testimonials from these unbelievable people in my life, who have helped in the development or playing of OPTION PLAY, touched me very, very deeply.  It was an awesome experience, and I can't wait to see the first cut!

Move backward and you will realize this is a hugely important day that crowns a month of lots of small steps and big leaps:

• Chris gives his internship presentation after working with me for over a month.
• We go to the NYU Game Center open play where I play with members of Girls Inc., and various NYU open play participants. 

• Strategy calls with my CPA, Paige, and Karen (card production).
• Learning about Licensing (and Branding) from Karen Raugust
• Connecting with Neal Raisman (www.greatservicematters.com) who helps colleges change to lower attrition, and who successfully became a kidney transplant recipient!
• At Chris's suggestion and support, had a game play at Fordham Prep with a group of seniors in Erica Keough's guidance class.
• Had a breakfast game play with 14 Residence Directors and Justin Muzzi, Assistant Director of Residential Life for Leadership, Development and Training at Fordham University (and amazingly positive human being!)
• Game play with the PTA from Frank McCourt High School.
• Parent focus group for OPTION PLAY.
• Meeting with Dr. Jill Brickman (psychologist) to discuss wording of scenarios, and possible other scenarios like focusing on overuse of social media and executive skills)
• Game play with small but vocal group of University of Michigan freshman ("I really like the feel of these cards...It is better to have a card game because players are actually talking with one another across the table.)

Finally, I want to thank Susanne Schropp who is the uber-networking queen behind so many of the positive connections in my Small Steps journey.  At the beginning of these two months Chris and I had a valuable meeting with her about design and this process.  Success comes only when we are open to the connections that flow our way!

Phew!  It was extremely helpful to write down the steps I have been taking.  And, this does not include all of the other things that have been going on--but that is another story...

Inhabit College

I have hosted two focus groups for parents of high school and college students this week.  The point was for them to play OPTION PLAY and for me to tell them about LEARN HOW TO USE YOUR RUBY SLIPPERS.

The groups were small (3 each), which has its own problems because OPTION PLAY requires 6-8 players so that enough answers and discussion happens.  The participants were awesome because they were smart, funny, honest, and gave me good feedback even if they felt something didn't work. It is always a pleasure to play with people who can lose themselves a bit in the process.  It is a challenge to be the parent of a child who is in high school or college because that child is moving into their own journey but still needs the love and support of their parents.  It is a messy time, because learning should be messy as it is full of trial and error.  And, learning is happening when a parent delves into the possible details without having to go into helicopter-mode.

Unfortunately, the road through high school and college for students and their parents has really unrealistic parts.  High school presents so much pressure as students are supposed to take lots of hard classes and do well in them all, shine on standardized tests, have time to do meaningful extracurriculars, and oh, yes -- sleep.  Not to mention being a member of the family, having friends, and being an upstanding member of whatever community they are in.

College is a must, right?  What is the point of high school but to get into a great college.  That is defined by individuals in so many ways.  And, students are then asked to become proactive adults in an environment that may feel similar but may not.  Once a student goes to orientation they should be good, right?

I disagree with that assumption.  It is a big leap from high school to college.  That leap can feel not so big if there isn't a difference between the type of place or people.  But, does a student want a repeat of the last four years in terms of the way subjects are taught or the type of people they interact with daily?

That is why I have designed OPTION PLAY and ENTER THE CAVE, and why it is important to use my workshop LEARNING TO USE YOUR RUBY SLIPPERS.  I help students transition successfully from high school to college by examining scenarios written by college freshmen and sophomores through playing a fun and easy game.  Using those scenarios, through the games or workshop, gives students and their parents a script to begin conversations with and situations to think about or prepare for.

The other night, I did something I have wanted to do for several months.  I went to hear Frank Bruni talk about his book, Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be.   I had already read the book, and then found a copy of his, Born Round.  I am glad I read both books because Mr. Bruni has walked the walk.  In the intro of Where You Go I found a statement that stayed with me through the remainder of data, interviews, and cases that I so love to read.

"College is a singular opportunity to rummage through and luxuriate in ideas, to give your brain a vigorous workout and your soul a thorough investigation, to realize how large the world is and to contemplate your desired place in it.  And, that's being lost in the admissions mania, which sends the message that college is a sanctum to be breached--a border to be crossed--rather than a land to be inhabited and tilled for all that it's worth." (10)

Today, I was talking with a man who is very skilled with working to show young people that they can accomplish more than they thought they could by facing discomfort and leaping into some sense of the unknown (with a harness of course).  I asked him where he had gone to college and he seemed reluctant to tell me after we had been talking about much better known schools.  I pressed him about this, and he told me his college had challenged the Federal Government on the subject of exerting control over the college when its students received Pell Grants,  Grove City College, in the late 70s according to my friend, took the issue all the way to the Supreme Court and won.  And, they told the Federal Government that if the Pell Grant wasn't awarded they, the college, would supply the student's funding.

There is nothing to feel reluctant about there.

Successfully transitioning to college sets up a student to feel confident enough to rummage through and luxuriate in the ideas learned at any college.  It takes some work, and some structured risk, and it is oh, so worth it.

Staying Away from the Changeup

People don't resist change. They resist being changed. Peter Senge

Finding this quote has become essential to me as I move from doing what seems to come naturally to doing what needs to be done.  Initially, the quote looked like an explanation but now it looks like a method.

I realize that throughout my life I haven't wanted to invent something that never existed before, rather, I believe I can help people do what they do in a better way. It is easier now to see where my asking "why?" so often came from.  Filtering through a game encourages players to address real situations while they are flirting with being someone or something else.  My "whys" are no longer as important as my "tries".  

Since 2012, I have learned about high school student, counselor, and parent concerns regarding going to college from focus groups and research. Students work hard academically in high school, and also want their concerns about going to college validated. Counselors balance the application process, producing graduates, and feeling confident about sending their students on to the next step. Parents want their children to succeed, and are at times less appreciative of the importance of trial and error, because they are busy taking care of so much. 

I believe I can help all of these people do what they do more effectively.

According to Senge, there are four challenges in initiating changes.

There must be a compelling case for change (that would be learning to go to college)

There must be time to change (that must be made now)

There must be help during the change process (that would be my games)

As the perceived barriers to change are removed, it is important that some new problem, not before considered important or perhaps not even recognized, doesn't become a critical barrier (that would be a player holding onto who they are, while learning to adapt)

I believe I can help people do what they need to in a better way.

And, then, the next step beckons to me:  Getting Things Done.

The President, Dalai Lama, Prime Minister, Queen, and all the rest of us start our days with the same breath.  And, we all strive to get things done.  What those things are make up the textures of our lives.  

What do I need to do at the moment?  I need a website!?  People are asking, and it is about time I finished this particular task.  Let me try out Mr. Senge's observations:

Compelling case:  I NEED a website.  Not having a website is holding my journey back!

Time to change:  I am piloting this ship, so NOW

Help:  Diva Design, Square Space, what I need to say and offer

New Problem?  I do not know how to do this, and so it becomes another thing to figure out, and I feel overwhelmed, scared, and befuddled.

People don't resist change.  They resist being changed.  I am resisting being changed because I want someone else to do this for me, and I really need to do it myself.     OK, that feels, better...

OPTION PLAY is ONE thing you can to do to increase the possibility of successfully transitioning to college

According to the National Center for Education Statistics, the 2013 6-year graduation rate for first-time, full-time undergraduate students who began their pursuit of a bachelor's degree at a 4-year degree-granting institution in fall 2007 was 59 percent, with public institutions at 58% and private institutions at 65%.

U.S. Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics. (2015). The Condition of Education 2015 (NCES 2015-144),Institutional Retention and Graduation Rates for Undergraduate Students.

Going to college, for many students, is the logical next step on the journey to adulthood.  It is an awesome opportunity to attempt new things, take calculated risks, learn to respond to missteps and outright failure and ultimately succeed.

Parents, counselors, advisors, and students, themselves, want to successfully transition to this new chapter.  And, that transition is uncomfortable and stressful as roles are stretched, and expectations adjusted. 

But, the goal is the same for all:  a successful experience.  The statistics mentioned above can feel daunting.  But, here is ONE thing you can do – Play OPTION PLAY!

I am Genevieve Griffin, the designer of OPTION PLAY and President of Small Steps Go Places Inc.  Please give me the opportunity to speak with you about playing, signing up for my workshop PRACTICING USING MY RUBY SLIPPERS, or to learn more about where many small steps have led me. Send me an email:  optionplay15@gmail.com.  Also, I would like to know what international students find most challenging about coming to the United States for college.

Successfully transitioning to college is hard work, can be stressful, requires problem solving and communication, and reframing skills students already possess.

Playing OPTION PLAY is hard work that players choose to do, requires problem-solving, making and defending choices, communicating, thinking about skills and characteristics players already have or want to have, and as with any game, can be competitive.  The result of many focus groups is that it is FUN to play.  Playing OPTION PLAY is ONE thing you can do to increase the possibility of having a successful transition to college.  Successfully transitioning to college increases the possibility of graduating, after having a good experience.